Steps of Grieving

SHOCK and NUMBNESS (very high 1st and 2nd week)

This is the first stage of grief. Some feelings often felt in this stage are disbelief, denial, anger, and guild. You may find yourself or your loved ones crying, loss of appetite, limited concentration, sleep disturbances, feeling emotionally “drained”, searching for answers to why and having emotional outbursts. You may choose to be on a sedative such as Valium during this time.

SEARCHING AND YEARNING (2 wks to 4 wks)

This is the second stage of the grieving process. Some emotions that are experienced during this stage are despair, depression, over-sensitivity, apathy, guilt, anger, hopelessness, and self-doubt. You may find yourself crying, restless, unable to concentrate, impatient, isolating yourself, angry, loss of energy, poor memory, and feeling yourself asking “What is real?” It is very important to talk to others about how you feel during this time. You cannot get through the mourning process alone.

DISORIENTATION (peaks highly 4 to 7 months)

The third stage of the grief process is the last stage before you begin to heal. You may feel great depression, disorganization, guilt, and that you will forever be grieving. Physically, you may become irritable, restless, act as if nothing happened, or hesitate in reaching out to others. You may start to really examine life and death in this stage of grieving and may question your own mortality.

REORGANIZATION (takes 18 to 24 months to stabilize)

This is the last step of the grieving process. You will begin to feel a sense of relief, renewed hope, peace, acceptance, and no longer are “obsessed” with death. You will regain your judgment making, interests in goals and your future, renewed energy, and normal eating and sleeping habits. This is the stage when you finally begin to accept what happened. Keep in mind that on significant days, like birthdays and death anniversary, you will experience a peak of all four stages. But, the time will pass, and you will begin to smile again.