Transitions - Expect the Best

I had a great chance to launch the new Transitions series on Sunday AM.

I have really enjoyed the privilige of preaching to a great group of people on a regular basis.

Here are some notes and quotes from part 1... and the podcast will be available soon.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

The gap between seasons and events is called "transition."

Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares

Proverbs 1:20 (NIV)

Wisdom and common sense and life principles to help with transitions are everywhere – if you are looking for them.

Sociologists say that now, there is more change today than there used to be. Not only are we in an everchanging world of situations, relationships, and identities - these situations, relationships, and identities are themselves in transition, - many of us are caught in a semi permanent condition of transition and change.

Throughout nature, the normal growth process involves periodic accelerations and transformations: things go slowly for a time and nothing seems to happen –until suddenly the eggshell cracks, the branch blossoms, the tadpole’s tail shrinks away, the leaf falls, the bird moults, the hibernation begins. With us it is the same. Although the signs are less clear than in the world of feather and leaf, the functions of transition times are the same. They are key times in the natural process of self-renewal.

Transition and change can be your friend – if handled wisely.

Expect the best from your transitions and changes – a transition is an opportunity to end something and also start something new.

One of the benefits of reviewing your experience of endings is to see how often they have cleared the ground for unexpected beginnings.

Transitions clear the ground for new growth. They drop the curtain so that the stage can be set for a new scene. What is it, at this point in your life, that is waiting quietly backstage? - Bridges

You will always be torn between a developmental thrust that brings about life transitions
And the impulse toward repetition that aborts the change your life needs.

How do I understand – and how do I expect the best?

1. Get a “God-word” for the journey - Get a fresh God word

2. Keep talking to God and drawing on His strength

3. Chart your location on the transition journey

4. Reflect on what you are learning

5. Get a moving buddy – someone to listen

6. Move with the transition rhythm

7. Seek to “get a clue” – open your eyes and expand your awareness

8. Keep on going – if you are on a train in a dark tunnel don’t get off in the dark tunnel, wait till the train stops at the next station – gut it out!

9. Determine to transition well – people remember how you finish

10. Celebrate and honour at the right time

11. Get a song for your season

Do your best, prepare for the worst— then trust God to bring victory.

Proverbs 21:31 (MSG)

There are 4 common aspects of the natural ending experience – disengagement, disidentification, disenchantment, disorientation. These involve 4 important life ingredients - connection, identity, reality and direction. Jesus meets all 4 needs – He knows how all this works

Be willing to transition into your new season
Make up your mind to enter your new season
Let go of the old to embrace the new
Expect the best from your transitions!

Bridge from Desert Song -

All of my life, in every season
You are still God, I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

We’re like shellfish that often continue to open and close their shells on the tide-schedule of their old home waters, even when they have been transplanted to the laboratory tank or the restaurant kitchen. - Bridges

Umbilical Hernia Repair

There is a lot of change in my life in this season. "Transitions" is the key word.

I went and saw a surgeon this AM - and a recently diagnosed umbilical hernia needs to be repaired ASAP.

So tomorrow morning it is.

This verse came to me when I was praying this AM

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.
Psalms 51:6 (NIV)

God is interested in my inner parts.... my guts. And He desires wholeness and integrity.

So the healing process starts tomorrow under the care of a skilful surgeon.

I was "encouraged" greatly by Jill when she sent me this Youtube clip (below) of an umbilical hernia repair.

Enjoy it... if you are game!

Transitions and Grief - Blockages in the Grieving Process.

I recently wrote a blog post called Good Grief.

I also came across these notes - blockages in the grieving process. These are from Malcolm too.

It is possible to have a blockage in the recovery process due to any of the following reasons:

1. Resentment and bitterness.
2. Anger against God.
3. Refusal to come to terms with the loss.
4. Refusal to hand your grief over to God.
5. A refusal to accept and readjust to new circumstances.
6. Failure to give yourself permission to grieve.

“He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds
(curing their pains and their sorrows)
(Psalm 147:3 Amp.)

“Surely our grief’ He Himself bore and our sorrows He carried”
(Isaiah 53:4 NASB)

Transitions - A Book by William Bridges

I came across this book recently by William Bridges. I have thoroughly enjoyed it.

It has been helpful as I have been preparing for the new Transitions teaching series.

Here are some bits n pieces about what Amazon says about the book.

This book deals with the transitions in an individual’s life—marriages and divorces, family births and deaths, relocations and career changes, retirement and all the other personal changes that disrupt our lives today. This book—which first identified the three-phase transition process—has now sold more than half-a-million copies. It explains how one can make transition less disruptive and how an individual can launch a new life after it is finished.



Product Description

Whether it is chosen or thrust upon you, change brings both opportunities and turmoil. Since first published 25 years ago, Transitions has helped hundreds of thousands of readers cope with these issues by providing an elegantly simple yet profoundly insightful roadmap of the transition process.

With the understanding born of both personal and professional experience, William Bridges takes readers step by step through the three stages of any transition: The Ending, The Neutral Zone, and, in time, The New Beginning.

Bridges explains how each stage can be understood and embraced, leading to meaningful and productive movement into a hopeful future. With a new introduction highlighting how the advice in the book continues to apply and is perhaps even more relevant today, and a new chapter devoted to change in the workplace, Transitions will remain the essential guide for coping with the one constant in life: change.

About the Author

Formerly a professor of English, William Bridges made a shift to the field of transitional management in the mid-1970s; out of his workshops has grown a long career of consulting, lecturing, and helping others through transitions. He lives with his wife in Mill Valley, California.

I'll start posting some great quotes from the book from time to time. So keep a look out for future posts.

Good Grief

In 2006 we did a teaching series at Westlife called Desperate Households. In that series we talked about things that families need to deal with - parenting, communication, money, family values, time management... and grief.


We had counsellor, Malcolm Lindridge come in and speak with us. He did a great job.


Here are some the points I remember him making. They are useful too for our current Transitions series.


We spend a good portion of our lives working diligently to acquire those things that make us happy and give us a meaningful purpose in life. What happens to us when we lose any of these things which are important to us? Quite naturally we grieve over the loss of anything that is important to us. Sometimes if the loss is great, it can shake the very foundations of our lives and toss us head-long into despair. Does a person’s faith have anything to do with the way they grieve over the loss? Sometimes people think that a person with a strong faith does not really need to grieve.


Remember the following three important points about grief:
1. Grief is a God-given process.
2. Grief is personal.
3. Grief and faith work together.


There is nothing heroic or noble about grief: It is a painful process. It is hard work. It is a lingering process. It has been labeled as everything from intense mental anguish, to acute sorrow, to deep remorse. There is a multitude of emotions involved in the grief process. Grief is a complex mental and emotional process.


1. Grief is not an event, it is a journey.
2. Grief is a personal journey and individually experienced.
3. Men grieve differently to women.
4. Grief has many faces: anticipatory, delayed, chronic, masked, exaggerated and
shadow grief.
5. Grief has a purpose.
6. Christian faith never denies the reality of grief.


Grief can journey down three different roads:
1. A normal grief curve: loss, shock, numbness, denial, emotional outbursts, anger, bargaining, fear, panic, guilt, depression, isolation, acceptance, new strengths, new relationships, helping others, adjustment, future hope.
2. A difficult and long-term (2-4 years) process of healing and restoration.
3. Acute emotional pain (pathological) is experienced when it is denied delayed or distorted.

“Simply put, grief is the pain of loss. It is the emotional/spiritual/physical response to the loss of a person, significant object or situation in life.”


“He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds
(curing their pains and their sorrows) (Psalm 147:3 Amp.)

“Surely our grief’ He Himself bore and our sorrows He carried” (Isaiah 53:4 NASB)


Great work, Malcolm!

Transitions Sometimes Involve Grief

Transitions sometimes involve grief. Change can mean that you are "losing something."

Here is a diagram developed by Phil Kitchens called "The Valley of Grief." I have seen a similar diagram called The Grief Trough.

This can be helpful to see at what stage you are in the grief process.

I was talking to someone recently who is moving towards divorce. They are almost at the "acceptance" stage. It is still very sad... and I remember when there were back at the "emotional outburst" stage.

Watch out for another blog post I am doing soon titled, Good Grief.

PS -
Some of you found this helpful when I put in on my blog in Jan 09 when we grieved the passing of our good friend, Merv Locke.

Transitions - The Curve

Everything on earth has its own time and its own season...
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (CEV)

Tomorrow AM we start a new teaching series about understanding life's changes.

It's called Transitions.

Here is a great diagram which helps you plot where you are on the transition journey - and how you might be feeling.




Isn't it great to know that denial, anxiety and shock can at some time be hope, energy and enthusiasm.

"Transitions" Teaching Series - Starts this Sunday

God never changes – but seasons do. Winter, Spring, Summer or Autumn; all of them are necessary for the earth’s ecological system. My favourite time of year is Spring. However if it were Spring all the time there would be some serious issues that would affect the planet.

Likewise, in your walk with God, you will go through various seasons and transitions as well .

"Be ready in season and out of season." 2 Tim 4:2 NKJV

We live our lives in seasons, and seasons have beginnings and endings. So, diversity is the key to longevity. If you don't understand this, you can lose your sense of purpose, because when one season is over you've nothing left to carry with you into the next.

That's why successful farmers keep rotating their crops. They plant corn in one field, then when it goes out of season they plough that field and let it rest. At the same time they're busy elsewhere harvesting alfalfa to make hay, after which that field goes through the same process. In spring they change the order of things so the field where corn once grew now produces alfalfa, and so forth.

When Paul told Timothy, "Be ready in season and out of season," he was encouraging him to broaden his spiritual horizons. In Timothy's case he needed to understand there's a time to correct people, and a time to comfort them (See 2 Tim 4:2 NKJV). Timing is so important. The Psalmist compared the blessed man to "a tree...which yields...fruit in season" (Ps 1:3 NIV). To succeed, you must recognise what season you are in!

And you must also understand that God is more concerned with the depth of your roots than the height of your branches; more interested in quality than quantity. With God 'the quality goes in before the name goes on'.

That's why He takes your struggles and uses them to cultivate the kind of soil (and soul) necessary to produce good fruit. And one more thing: from time to time He will permit storms to blow away those people and things that hinder what He's working to produce in you.

- be willing to transition into your new season...
- make up your mind to enter your new season ...
- let go of the old to embrace the new...
- expect the best from your transitions!

"Let us go over to the other side." - Transitions

I have become very aware recently that life is full of change... and transitions.

If we don't change we die, some have said.

This is what I have been collecting.........

That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side."
Mark 4:35 (NIV)

“Not in his goals but in his transitions is man great”
Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Poet, Lecturer and Essayist, 1803-1882)

“Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our lives.”
William Bridges

“When our first parents were driven out of Paradise, Adam is believed to have remarked to Eve: "My dear, we live in an age of transition."”
Dean Inge (Dean of St Paul's, London, 1860-1954)

Afterwards Paul felt impelled by the Holy Spirit to go ... he said, "I must go....!"
Acts 19:21 (TLB)

I am starting a new teaching series soon to talk about transitons and how we can understand them. The Bible gives us great wisdom about navigating life's changes.

Part 1 is Sunday 13 September at 10am.

Transitions - New Teaching Series - Spring 2009

The Bible says that there is a time for everything...... and there is a time for change... and transitions.

I am really looking forward to this new Sunday morning teaching series.

I believe that it will really help people in all areas of their life... and how to understand and prepare for life's changes.

See you for part 1 - Sunday 13 September 2009 10am.