Good Grief

In 2006 we did a teaching series at Westlife called Desperate Households. In that series we talked about things that families need to deal with - parenting, communication, money, family values, time management... and grief.


We had counsellor, Malcolm Lindridge come in and speak with us. He did a great job.


Here are some the points I remember him making. They are useful too for our current Transitions series.


We spend a good portion of our lives working diligently to acquire those things that make us happy and give us a meaningful purpose in life. What happens to us when we lose any of these things which are important to us? Quite naturally we grieve over the loss of anything that is important to us. Sometimes if the loss is great, it can shake the very foundations of our lives and toss us head-long into despair. Does a person’s faith have anything to do with the way they grieve over the loss? Sometimes people think that a person with a strong faith does not really need to grieve.


Remember the following three important points about grief:
1. Grief is a God-given process.
2. Grief is personal.
3. Grief and faith work together.


There is nothing heroic or noble about grief: It is a painful process. It is hard work. It is a lingering process. It has been labeled as everything from intense mental anguish, to acute sorrow, to deep remorse. There is a multitude of emotions involved in the grief process. Grief is a complex mental and emotional process.


1. Grief is not an event, it is a journey.
2. Grief is a personal journey and individually experienced.
3. Men grieve differently to women.
4. Grief has many faces: anticipatory, delayed, chronic, masked, exaggerated and
shadow grief.
5. Grief has a purpose.
6. Christian faith never denies the reality of grief.


Grief can journey down three different roads:
1. A normal grief curve: loss, shock, numbness, denial, emotional outbursts, anger, bargaining, fear, panic, guilt, depression, isolation, acceptance, new strengths, new relationships, helping others, adjustment, future hope.
2. A difficult and long-term (2-4 years) process of healing and restoration.
3. Acute emotional pain (pathological) is experienced when it is denied delayed or distorted.

“Simply put, grief is the pain of loss. It is the emotional/spiritual/physical response to the loss of a person, significant object or situation in life.”


“He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds
(curing their pains and their sorrows) (Psalm 147:3 Amp.)

“Surely our grief’ He Himself bore and our sorrows He carried” (Isaiah 53:4 NASB)


Great work, Malcolm!