The Wingman, The Man-Crush, The Bromance and Friendship – The Power of Men Connecting in Healthy Ways

I have been really enjoying 1 and 2 Samuel reading recently. I have been invigorated by themes of people, leadership, connecting with God etc.

I have found that about once a week I get a “convergence moment” – when the daily readings sync and a powerful theme emerges – and an “ah ha moment” is enjoyed. I had one recently when I read about David and Jonathan .... and when David sang a song of lament when his good friend Jonathan died:

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.
2 Samuel 1:26 (NIV)

Here is one man saying to another man... ”Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.“ My investigations led me to this study bible note....

David is not suggesting that marital love is inferior to that of friendship, nor do his remarks have any sexual implications. He is simply calling attention to Jonathan’s nearly inexplicable self-denying commitment to David, whom he had long recognised as the Lord’s choice to succeed his father rather than himself.

A key to David’s emergence and leadership strength was that he was surrounded by dedicated, skilled and strong men. Men are made strong by other strong men. There is a power in men connecting with and supporting other men in healthy ways.

This makes me think of several words.

The first word is “wingman.” A wingman is a pilot who supports another in a potentially dangerous flying environment. The idea behind the wingman is to add the element of mutual support to aerial combat. A wingman makes the flight both offensively and defensively more capable by increasing fire power, situational awareness, attacking an enemy threatening a comrade and most importantly the ability to employ more dynamic tactics.

This thought of man-connection and support has since the 1990’s been encapsulated in new words like “bromance” and “man-crush.”

A "bromance" is a close but non-sexual relationship between two men. "Bromance" is a combination of the words "brother" and "romance".

A "man-crush" is similar – it is when a straight man has a "crush" on another man, not sexual but kind of idolizing him. Urban Dictionary describes a man-crush as follows:

- a man having extreme admiration for another man, as though he wants to be him.
- a man who has a very close platonic friendship and/or admiration for another man.

Aristole described a concept similar to the bromance as early as 300 BCE, writing, "It is those who desire the good of their friends for the friends' sake that are most truly friends, because each loves the other for what he is, and not for any incidental quality".

So I like the spirit of words like “man-crush” – “bromance” – “wingman” – and “friendship.” They start to capture the power of men in healthy, biblical relationship. And David and Jonathan help us see that power.

I like the words of Solomon.....

He who walks with wise men will be wise....
Proverbs 13:20 (NKJV)

Let’s get to it men!